Growing up I spent a long time feeling like a loser. Broken. Weird. Outcast.
My undiagnosed ADHD and c-PTSD made it difficult to ‘succeed’ at school and in life. I excelled in subjects I loved like music. But was told I needed to ‘apply myself more’ in topics I found boring like math.
I was bullied a lot. I would change friend groups regularly. And when I did genuinely connect with someone, I would sincerely doubt their love for me.
And then there were those I looked up to. People who were prettier, smarter, funnier, and more enjoyable to be around.
I put these people on a pedestal. Because I fundamentally believed that other people were better than me.
All systems of oppression are hierarchical. There are winners and there are losers. Sharks and minnows. Gods and demons.
Hierarchies were created by people who fundamentally believe that some people are better than others. These hierarchies demonstrate dynamics of power-over.
Settler-colonialism is a hierarchy whereby the colonisers are better than the savage natives, and therefore deserve access to land.
Capitalism is a hierarchy whereby rich people are better than poor people and therefore deserve access to wealth.
Ableism is a hierarchy whereby non-disabled people are better than disabled people and therefore deserve access to public life.
We can see this play out in Palestine where Palestinian lives are seen as more disposable in order to complete the colony of Israel.
We see this play out in the Congo. African lives are seen as more disposable in the race to extract mineral riches from the ground and export them to Western countries and corporations.
And we see this play out in education. Preference is given to reading, writing & arithmetic. Yet creative arts are seen as fun but non-essential. Which means anyone with a neurotype that thrives in creative spaces but not in mathematical spaces is immediately at a disadvantage.
There is power in pedestals, yes. But there is also an inherent danger.
The problem with seeing every aspect of our social experience as a hierarchy is that it will always lead to harm.
There will always need to be someone at the bottom.
And the fight will always be about who gets to be at the top. And who has to get stomped on to stop their grubby little hands from reaching up the ladder.
This is why all social justice movements seek to eliminate hierarchies. They seek to create dynamics of power-to and power-with.
Black Lives Matter is a movement to eliminate the hierarchy of White supremacy. Not that Black lives matter more or less than others. That they simply matter equally.
Disability justice is a movement to see disabled people as worthy of the same respect, dignity and access as non-disabled people.
Neurodiversity justice is a movement to see all neurotypes as valid instead of some being seen as disordered or deficient.
And I want to see these social justice movements succeed. Because I believe in a restful world.
A restful world is a free Palestine AND a free Congo.
A restful world is one with zero anti-semitism AND zero Islamaphobia.
A restful world is free from the patriarchy AND where trans people can freely exist.
A restful world is one where indigenous people AND the planet are respected.
A restful world is a world liberated from the oppressive hierarchies of colonialism, capitalism, racism, misogyny & ableism.
A restful world is one where biodiversity, neurodiversity, cultural diversity, gender diversity, and ability diversity are not only embraced but beloved.
Hierarchical thinking plagues us at every turn. Understandably, we absorb these messages from the culture around us.
I had internalised so much hierarchical thinking, that I saw myself at the bottom and put people I admired on a pedestal.
But if I want to see hierarchies around me fall? If I want to see justice prevail in all aspects of society? Then I must first eliminate the hierarchies in myself.
What emotions do I perceive as more welcome than others?
What days do I perceive as ‘better’ because I was more productive?
Who do I admire? Who do I shun? And why?
How can I abolish my will to punish - myself and others?
How can I hold space for my strong values of justice, fairness and equality while also holding space for people’s humanity?
How can I fundamentally see us all as equals?